God Bless the Kendall County Fair

chamber

deleted

updates

sometimes I mean to log on and update my blog. Then I think of all the things I'd need to tell you in order to TRULY update my blog.

then I don't update my blog.

Jeanna

 

I have no idea why Jeanna is leaving us.

Boerne Grill

has sold to a guy from Austin. Stuart (the old owner) says it was a great deal for him and he's happy and now he's moving to Austin. I'm a little bummed. The Grill was a bastion of local characters, of meetings, the ultimate place to drag your laptop and people watch while you pretend to work.

maybe nothing changes with the new owner, but I just don't see how it could be the same. Could be wrong.......meeting the new owner at 3pm....I"ll report back.

USPS

my local post office is on my last damn nerve. While we all know they are incapable, uncaring, and disinterested in performing their duties, this willful disregard for the service they are supposed to supply can cause a lot of problems. I'm now to the point of having to hand-deliver mail in town because it's too important to allow the USPS to lose it. Which they do, constantly.

I have been waiting on a box for 10 days or so now. I was irritated that it was taking so long, and i just looked up my confirmation # and sure enough, it's listed as DELIVERED. This is inaccurate. it was NOT delivered. But what can I do now? The shipper is going to say Too Bad. USPS is going to look confused and then say Too Bad. So I'm out the $50 the item cost.

We lost a record setting 7 checks last month. they were mailed, and then just vanished in the mail. So then I have to call the client, bother them, and then beg for them to reissue a check. All because the USPS is completely incapable.

not much to add really, except that it can really ruin your Friday.

this is what I see when Jeanna talks to me sometimes....

for you dads out there...

uh oh

I have just been informed that Jeanna and Alison were googling "how to make mustard gas" out of curiosity.  Obama, it wasn't me.  It was them.  Feel free to come haul them away.  they are a threat.

Jeanna's shoes that she wore to work.
I'm pretty sure they are grounds for termination.

go-cart

Jeanna's new rental car. BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!

boat

I've talked about my boat a few times in the Pub letter, but I thought I'd add a few updates here.

So, the spark plugs were bad on my maiden voyage, so we got that all fixed up.  On a follow up trip, my dad and I went fishing and the boat ran perfect.  We returned to the dock and shut it off.  Had some lunch.  My wife requested a quick boat ride, so we loaded in, turned the ignition, and..............nada.  Frustrated, not wanting to begin a cursing fit, I just gave up. 

Took the boat to a shop in Marble Falls that was run by seven trained monkeys.  Woke up the next morning and wasn't confident they could fix the boat, I went to the shop at 9am (when they open).  The whole place was dark.  Two other people were milling around wondering why nobody was there.  Impatient, I hooked to the boat and split.  THey have NEVER called me to alert me to the fact that for all they know the boat was stolen.

Took the boat to the very expensive but good boat shop, Bay Marine.  Dropped it off, and was told it would take two weeks, but they thought they could probably do it quicker.  One week in I called and was told I was number 20 in line.  The next day I was number 20 in line.  The next day I was scolded for calling again and was told I was number 20 in line.  I asked for the service manager to call me back, and he didn't.  the next day, the boat was surprisingly done.  No mention of the fact that apparently they had worked on ZERO boats for three days.

went back to the lake to pick up the boat. I called them on the way and requested that they drop the boat in the water so that I could drive it back to the lakehouse.  Showed up, and it was sitting in the parking lot.  Pissed off at this point, I decided to just trailer it back home.  Some guy pulls up on a tractor to put it in the water (over an hour since my call).  I tell him that this was already supposed to be done, he barks "Hey!! It's been busy!!"  After a short stare-down, I grab my boat and leave.

I did not pay.  They have not called yet.  I plan on telling them that I have a lot of bills in front of me and that it will probably take two weeks but that I might get to it quicker.  However, they are #20 in line, and they may stay there for some time.

I'll keep you updated...

HAHAHAHAH

too funny - received a request for ad placement.  Good news?  Nope.

this is the company: http://www.tulenex.com/

Their company slogan is "Build it THICK and WIDE".

wow.

seriously?

a recent article from the BS (Boerne Star) contained this jewel:

a .5 reduction in home values means that the city will have to dip into 22% of its fiscal reserves.

Oh, and I just read that the City bought the old Dollar General store by the old high school.  For $700k.  And now they need to spend $300k+ to turn it into offices.  Never mind that they could buy a lot for $200k and then build a $150k building that would more than suffice.  Never mind that the high school is cutting jobs, and that the city is dipping 22% into its reserves.  Let's just keep spending money we don't have to provide facilities for employees we don't have nor can afford. 

on another note, my boat performed flawlessly this weekend, so there's that I guess.

Even at the local level - government is broken and not worthy of trust.

Oh yeah - AND my local postman forgot to deliver the mail on Friday. 

k - i'm done rambling.  All this stupid gubment-speak got me all confused this morning.

math

too funny to not share:
a client is splitting ad with another client.  It began at a 50/50 cost split.
then it was 2/3 and 1/3.
then today she said "I think it's 2/3 and 1/4."

I'll let you think about that for a moment.

yo

was going through the Chamber of Commerce membership book the other day and was struck by something - a LOT of places have gone out of business this past year.  We all know that 2008 and 2009 were rough ones, and we lost o lot of fellow business owners during that time.  Lots of them couldn't handle even the smallest dip in business, and it took them out when it happened.

additionally, there has been very little NEW business in town lately.  there was a time that I could ink out a living just off of the new businesses that were opening, but there have been scant few new guys on the scene.  I think we have hit our bottom.  I HOPE.  I think that we lost those that couldn't hack it, those that could have survived and have made changes to their business in order to make it, and we're all gonna dig out. 

it wasn't a fun ride, and while we still have a ways to go, I think the light is finally at the end of the tunnel.

thanks

promise me business.
allow me to spend a lot of money as I tried to earn your business.
then ignore my calls for two months.
pop up and schedule a meeting w/ me.
re-schedule that appt 15 mins before.
then simply skip the appt with no phone call.

thanks man.  I really appreciate it.

Mr. Not Turning in the RIght Lane at the Traffic Light

I just want to ram my truck up your bumper.  Why do you do that to me?  Why do you sit there in the right lane, when the left lane is WIDE OPEN, and tap your fingers to your music while 4 cars behind you all have our blinkers on?  WHY? 
I know I shouldn't let you piss me off so  bad, but when I'm on my 3rd magazine this month, I'm tired, and want to punch something, you do an extraordinary job of sending me over the edge.

on an unrelated note, when you pay with cash, WHY IN THE HELL do they insist on putting the cash in your hand and then sprinkling the change all over it?  Then you have to grab the coins off the money and re-organize yourself.  Yeah, I'm looking at you Mr. Cash Register Man.  You're pissing me off, too.

I need to lay off the coffee.

two things:

1. there was a dead duck in front of the Dodging Duck. 
2. the Supreme court has ruled that sex offenders can be incarcerated indefinitely due to their threat to our communities.  But Obama wants to close Gitmo and let 'em all go.  mmmmmmmkay?

Rain for the next 10 days. Good times.

Sent from my iPhone

boom

I sincerely believe that the debt crisis that is about to hit this country is going to lead to a revolution.  It will be painful, but necessary.  I know that's a radical thought, but I'm dead serious.  This country is completely unsustainable, and the Tea Parties are just the beginning.  Unless somebody comes along that will figure out how to slim things up, we're headed for some rough days.  You can only tax people so much, and as we continue to hear about government waste, people are going to crack.

not much to add really.

eek

I walked into baby David's room.  Angela is changing his diaper.  She lifts his legs up and puts a thermometer up his rear-end.  I back away slowly.

I walked into baby David's room.  Angela is changing his diaper.  She then takes a bulb sucker thing and puts it up his nose and sucks out a ton of snot.  I back away slowly.

These are my new adventures, and they are highly confusing to me. 

hmmmm

yesterday, at the corner of I-10 and 46, a police officer had pulled his car off into the grass.  He had his lights on.  He was standing in the grass writing a ticket to two hitchhikers that were sitting on the grass.  They had a sign that said "NEXT TOWN".  Let me say again - he was writing them a ticket.

I'll let you think about that for a while....

happy Monday.

so I went to the local Tea Party last night. a couple of observations:
- nobody was under the age of 50.  Now I know that Boerne doesn't have a HUGE population of younger folks, but I found this disheartening.  Off the top of my head, I could rattle off 30 folks that are about my age.  none of them were there.  There were a lot of veterans, a lot of grey hair, and quite a few wheelchairs.  Not sure what all that means, but it can't be good.
- they had a big poster with various "SPONSORS" and info on how I could become a sponsor.  I thought it would take longer for folks to figure out how to capitalize on the movement, but I was wrong.  They're already on top of it.
- Obama made fun of the protesters yesterday, saying that we should say "THANK YOU" instead.  Has there ever been a more out of touch president in the history of Presidents?  He truly has no idea what is happening around him, and he will pay dearly for it.  Voter turnout in November is going to be astronomical.
- It was very neat to be standing in an exhibition hall surrounded by men and women that are truly Patriots.  I've never experienced that before.  Every last one of them would take up arms to defend our country, and do so out of pure love and respect for the country.  that's rare and amazing.  I was proud to be there.

USPS

my neighbor (one block behind me) just brought me my mail.  It was lying in the street beneath his mailbox.  My neighbor has a lisp, and his name is "Thistlethwait".  Seriously.  God has a sense of humor.

just to recap - government = the SUCK.

damn

3 high school kids killed locally in a car accident.
my kids are NEVER driving - EVER. 
i can't even imagine the pain those poor parents are in....

my stuff

to follow up on my post below: I don't think I'd have much to sell.
My grandfather's power saw was made out of steel and weighed approximately 125 lbs.  Mine is half plastic and weighs three pounds.  I don't have antiques, and all my furniture will probably fall apart in 10 years.  I think that by the time I die, most of my crap would simply break and be worthless.  Nowadays, most of our possessions are plasticy technology China goodness.  and that's certainly not stuff people would want to buy at auction.

garage sale

www.texasbid.com
cool site, run by a really neat local company.

It's like ebay, but local.

the part I find interesting (and depressing) is that he focuses on "estate sales".  So you click on the latest sale, and there are literally hundreds of items from a person's estate.  You see all of their antiques, collectibles, handmade blankets, collections of DVDs, books, and other belongings. 

then you realize - these are all the possessions someone has left behind.  It's a fact of life, but I wonder what people would think of me if you took everything I ever owned and put it up for sale.  Nothing more to add really, except Happy Monday.

I'm sick

so I went to the boerne acute care.
I have a good ol' head cold.
one person was sitting in the lobby.
I filled out their forms and then sat down. 
the other guy was called back after 5 mins, and I was called after another 10.
went with the young kid (probably 22) to an exam room.
He took my blood pressure, temperature etc....
Said "Doc will be in to see you soon.
10 mins.
15mins.
20mins.
30mins.
I opened the door.  The kid was talking w/ another young employee and says "You should have seen it yesterday!!  I went in an exam room and just fell asleep for like three hours!!"  They high-fived at this.
I said "Excuse me.  When will I be seen?"
He walks over and says "Huh?"
I say "I've been in her almost 40 mins"
He grabs the door, and as he closes it says "Yeah, I know.  the exam rooms are all full."
I re-open the door, and say, "Yeah, which one?"
there are probably 6 exam rooms, and they are all empty.  I'm in mine, and the guy from the lobby is across the hall.
Kid shrugs his shoulders.
Luckily for Doc, he shows up quickly, barely looks at me and says "I'll call in some antibiotics."

Except he didn't call it in.  I have to take a print out to Walgreens, drop it off, and return 2 hours later.

Thank God Obama will save us from poor health care.  Right?

friggin' Jeanna

so I buy her a minibike, and watch what she does:

busy

back after a short hiatus from all things blog-related.

released Lifestyle Magazine. 

putting together a "Summer Edition" of EXPLORE.

working through the dangerous maze known as Cordillera Ranch Living.

only thing fun I can say is that I took my boat to the lake.
oh wait, but then it broke down.  but then I fixed it.  and then I caught hella tons of fish.

so if it weren't for magazines, life would be perfect.  :-)

my dream scenario

Here is our solution:

#1: Pass insane health care bill

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic Of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (We will control the space industry.)

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry. (We have over 65% of it) The term "Don’t mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, Ivy grows better in the south anyway

9. We have a ready supply of workers. (Just open the border when we need some)

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic Of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only Mr. Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Mr. Gore has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed, The People in Texas

Have a nice day!

cowboy

I'm crushed.  the giant Jennings Anderson Ford cowboy statue is gone.  There's two steel posts remaining that held him in place.  Most people won't care, but EVERY single morning I drive past that statue with my kids and as we get close I yell out (in my best cowboy voice) "HOWDY KIDS.  HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!"  They think I'm a total dork and roll their eyes at me, but they were sad he's gone. 

today sucks.

this was front page news on Fox News. Seriously

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,587931,00.html?loomia_ow=t0:s0:a4:g4:r3:c0.000000:b0:z5

gotcha

just thought I'd let you know that I got to play a good ol' fashioned game of hide 'n seek this weekend w/ my 6 and 4 year olds.  It was intense.  The 6 yr old would run and hide, and the 4 yr old would yell from his hiding place where his big sis was hiding.  And then they both would laugh.  We did this for almost two hours.  I never won, of course, via a technicality that I had not observed.  Twice the 4 yr old cried when he was "found".  One of 'em locked themselves in the pool shed.  I stepped in a huge mountain of dog crap.  If you didn't find them in a certain amount of time, they would simply yell "Olly Olly OxenFree!!" from their hiding spots, which means that I lost again. 

and I laughed so hard I cried.  If that's not simple pleasures, I don't know what is.

Grooming

Aaron at my desk on a Sunday. His priorities are straight. Spiderman.

sad

this man's name is Andrew Koenig.  He is an actor that committed suicide.  Obviously, things were amiss in his life, and he killed himself.  I have no idea WHY, but I find it sad.

i find it sad that he took his own life, but also that everywhere in the media, they are referring to him as "Boner", a role he played as a teenager.  It's one thing to mention in his obituary that he once played "Boner" in a sitcom, but to constantly splash "Boner found Dead" or "Boner Commits Suicide" is disrespectful and disgusting.

my baby boy

David Benjamin Schooley.  8 lbs, 8oz.  22" long.  I'm exhausted, and HAPPY.

fat

So WOAI told me this morning of a new initiative where people went to the eastside of town, gave cameras to overweight kids and told them to take pictures of "things that cause them to be overweight."

Their first and only quote from one of these precious snowflakes: "I took a picture of that house."  Why?  "It looks scary so I can't walk past it.  I just stay inside because I don't want to run past the house, or even walk near it."

So "I'm fat because there is a house on my street I don't like" is now a plausible excuse.  Apparently walking in the opposite direction is simply not an option.

Oh, and the best part: the study was funded by Obama money.

My head hurts.

it's Friday again....

Yes, that's Axl with a Shiner.  And it's Friday, so I'll follow his lead.

teaser pics from the REK shoot

my day with REK

WOW.  What an awesome time.  Highlights include sitting in his music room listening to him play Knocking on Heaven's Door with his daughters.  Talking books with him in his bedroom.  Learning the TRUE story behind The Road Goes On.  Seeing the actual picture of the guy that was running from the DEA in Gringo Honeymoon. 

And having this picture taken.
I can literally say that I know how to play almost every single REK song.  I have stood in the front row, beer held high, and screamed my idiot head off dozens of times at his shows.  To chill out with him in his home, get a hug from his wife, and to see him as a family man was priceless.

bet you can't beat that for a Tuesday morning.

men

This book is for sale on Amazon, and is geared at young girls.  This from the book's description:
Girls, here it is—everything you need to know about boys: 1. Boys come from the Stupid Factory. 2. Boys are pretty much smelly and useless. 3. It is possible to have fun with boys, however..... 4. If you decide to keep a boyfriend, he will need to be housebroken.

With a South Park-for-girls edgy freshness, artist and entrepreneur (David & Goliath clothing) Todd Harris Goldman updates the eternal battle of the sexes. And this time the girls win. Packaged in soft, puffy cover (so if you do keep a boyfriend around the house, he won't hurt himself too much when he tries to figure out what it is by putting it in his mouth), this bright, irreverent book is the perfect girlfriend gift

Can you imagine what would happen if I had written a book called "Girls are nasty - punch them in the face."?
There is only one group of people left that you can make fun of - white men.  But this book goes further and encourages YOUNG GIRLS to throw rocks at boys. 

and did you see how Tim Tebow's commercial with his mother was condemned by NOW as glorifying violence against women?  But this book?  It's ok.

Sorry, but this really bummed me out late on a Monday.

yelling

this should be great fun. I've lost my voice. We've passed a bug around the entire office. I can only whisper. fabulous.

have a great Monday

this is a vast shift from my normal Axl-Monday posts, but I heard this song yesterday, and it really warmed my heart. Hope it brightens an otherwise dreary Monday for you.

again Work Week, it's been real......

sad

http://www.ashleymadison.com/app/public/indexsimple.p
"life is short - have an affair."

yup - we're doomed to hell.

yup, Robert Earl was on his way to "a meeting".  this sucks.  No Willie.  No Beer.  No long-winded story or anything remotely interesting.  my fantasies are ruined.

rek

so I'm interviewing Robert Earl Keen for the inaugural issue of Lifestyles magazine.  I now have his cell phone #.  To flash back to college, I would have killed for this valuable piece of information.  I'm petrified to call him.

I wonder what kind of ring tone does he have.
I wonder if when I call he'll be chilling on his back porch with a beer and a guitar.
I wonder if he'll tell me he's cruising in his tour bus with Willie Nelson and Jack Ingram.
That would only seem fitting.
I'm most scared that I'll call and he'll tell me that he's cooking dinner, mowing his lawn, or sitting on the john.

that would destroy me.

random

i've decided Twitter is retarded.  anything called "tweeting" is stupid.  telling people where you are at any given moment is even worse.  and giving me something else to keep up with is downright evil.

damn you Twitter.  damn you to hell.

seriously?

this guy speaks at an ELEMENTARY school and needs a teleprompter?

this takes the crown for the most ridiculous image posted on my blog.

i continue to hope

you guys are all giddy with Scott Brown because he screws up the Obaminator's evil plans.

I'm fired up because he is a good guy:
http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=4523

haiti

i don't know why, but this image just made smile.  Amid the death and destruction of Haiti, a couple of kids can still have a good time. 

goodbye workweek. I've had it with you.

BAD image of the day

bet you didn't know that Guns was touring right now.

dammit

ya know, I really hate magazines today.  With a passion.  Maybe it's not magazines, but rather, it's self-employment.  sometimes it's great fun, and sometimes you think it'll put you in an early grave. 

today is the latter.

everybody thinks you can take off any day and go play golf.  that's not accurate.  instead, i'm working 60 hours a week, stressed out of mind, with the weight of my family's stability on my shoulders.  and i'm the only one that can keep the ship afloat. 

when you reach your goals, it's great fun.  When you're having a hard time, it's the scariest seat in the office.

best ad I've seen today....

i knew it...

my publisher letter has freaked many people out. They can't tell if I'm serious. One person has already offered to put signs in yards for my impending run for mayor. No matter how far out I go with ideas, somebody will wonder if you're serious. Even if you're not.

so to be clear: I'm not putting guards at the HEB and I'm NOT running for mayor.

ok, back to work..............

i'm free fallin' baby.......